I absolutely love the fact that I know, love, and serve a God who speaks to me! I mean it is one thing to say that we hear from God, and we know that He speaks to us... It is another thing when He actually does! When you receive that answer to prayer, or when you feel Him lead you a direction, etc. Today, I just want to share one such instance with you.
As a Reformers Unanimous (a faith-based, Christ-centered addiction abstinence program) chapter director I lead the greatest life imaginable! I mean, it is exciting, scary, heartbreaking, breathtaking, rewarding, demanding, draining, discouraging, and joyous all at the very same time! To truly understand the last sentence you would have to just sit in this seat, even if for just a day! With all that said, it is not a science. I mean, I would liken my job to that of a jet fighter pilot, but at least he knows that if he gives to much or to little throttle, or to much or to little flight surface he is in trouble. He understands the sciences of flight, etc. Though the modern fighter is a very technical, complex machine it is just that... A MACHINE! You tell it what to do and it does it. Now, bear in mind while doing what it is told to do it can take that aviator on one mean ride! Barrel rolls, loops, dives, flips, stalls, and anything else the aviator has the stomach for...
But, as an RU director I have been given this amazing "Flight Manual" that tells me that if I do this I can expect this, or if I go here I will end up here, etc. Then, I have to not only maneuver my own life according to this "Manual", but then it is also my calling to help others navigate in accordance with God's Word.
May I just stop here and say that I have a full-time job just keeping my own mess in the sky! I mean there are times in my spiritual walk where it seems more like I am "limping home" to the flight crew than setting heaven and earth on fire... There are times where I'm not sure I have what it takes to get my own deal up off the tarmac.
And now I also have to help others gain flight also?! What a responsibility... What a weight... WHAT A JOY!!!
And, I understand it isn't me that is responsible for my own "flight" or the "flight" of others! It is Christ in me! I am simply trying to lay some ground work for the help I received today.
Our group has been in the middle of a satanic onslaught now for quite some time. We have seen student after student who were once liberated by addiction now held again in addiction's bonds. This of course, has sent me reeling! I have been second guessing every counseling session, every message, every encouragement (or lack there of). I have been driving myself, in a word, NUTS! Then this morning it happened! I read a paragraph from a book, and God spoke to me! I wasn't looking for my answers in this book. I was just reading for my benefit and God helped me!
It came in the form of an old Puritan quote, "The same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay." The quote used to be used to describe the difference between the repentant and unrepentant heart. The Holy Spirit reminded me that it has not been the counsel, the sermons, to hard, or to soft! But rather, it has been the heart of the hearers.
So, now I am free to keep my own craft maintained, and battle ready, and to present the truths of the "Manual" to others whereby they will have the tools to fly the free skies of Christ's liberation. However, when they choose to remain grounded it has little to with me, but all about what they do with Christ"!
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